Friday, January 28, 2011

Calamity Rising


Stage right, the devil waltzes to the angel’s lute on the left,
While the mortal balls up center stage, pestered through the day.

The degenerate’s but a parcel of the playwright’s teeming cast,
But every scapegoat shares the fear that this day will bring his end.

The director choreographs the audience, when to applaud and when to wail,
Unaware a storm is pending and the puppets will invade at dusk.

A hairbreadth from sundown, the watchman heeds the threat,
And until his tower falls, his dismal siren pervades the night.

The moon receives the call as the wolves coax it with their howls;
The sun neglects to interject, for it lost its mind that afternoon.

Forsaken lovers embrace as the clouds engulf the sky,
And as the terrain succumbs to shadow, their hearts quench the earth.

The fisherman awaits his catch several hours before the morn,
But his hook is caught six feet under and will never see the day.

And so the weeping willow casts its ferns upon the ground,
An homage for those who meet their fate before the sun can rise.

5 comments:

  1. I really like this. There are some very strong images (the stage, the sundown, the sky...) and even though the images seem to be unrelated and give an uneasy kind of feel, it's very cohesive. Makes you shudder :)

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  4. I enjoyed this description of a director's control over an audience:
    "The director choreographs the audience, when to applaud and when to wail"

    Towards the end of the poem I found myself lost with the reference to fishing. I do however see the movement of the poem from day, to dusk, to night, to afternoon, morning and so on.

    Seems you connected your thoughts through a continual changing of day times.

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  5. A good job with the ghazal, the second lines almost all "rhyming" with times of day (though not apparently in a sequential way, which might be something to look at in revision). The voice is detached and consciously poetic (why "morn" and not "morning" unless to rhyme?) though I like the unexpected low diction of "pestered" and the rough internal rhyme of "neglects to interject." Try to interject more of the latter.

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